Negative to a POSITIVE!!

October 02, 2019 by Milan Lafayette

Last week while working on a project with a coworker crap hit the fan early in the morning so we were relying on the afternoon to give us the results we needed. She was slightly freaking out while I remained “unbothered”, fast forward to the afternoon things WORKED OUT so much so better than we imagined. As the fire was dying she asked me “you weren’t worried at all were you?” I said “No.” she went on to ask “how do you do that? you’re never worried over anything”

This conversation with someone who has known me just a little over 2 years made me think about my past and how it hasn’t always been so peachy and positive. It took a lot to become the person I am today and currently requires a lot to maintain but it has gotten easier to shift from a negative space into a positive space. This revelation that I had while speaking to my colleague made me want to share how I overcame and how I now handle negativity.

Honestly it took for my loving boyfriend Joe to have a real moment of honesty with me, he legit told me I was negative. Imagine the sound of my heart crushing to hear something so real and brutal about myself from someone I loved and who I knew loved me!!! This news was dropped on me at the right time cause I was OPEN to receive this information and was WILLING to do the work to change. If I came off negative to my boyfriend how did I appear to strangers?? The negativity that I was putting out in the world was essentially harming me, negativity is definitely a form of self harm especially if you are spiritual. I was not a mean person I just literally would not believe that any good was coming out of a rough situation. If something would go awry I would break down and be woe is me about it and never speak a positive word about the situation. Since this was brought to me from someone I love and love me IT HAD TO CHANGE IMMEDIATELY!!

It has not been an easy journey but it has been an amazing journey the way my life has changed is phenomenal. I am way more joyful, I expect great things to happen to me, rough situations come of course cause life but I get through them with a smile.

Some things that has helped me escape from my negative mindset has been:

Saying positive affirmations- Pinterest is my favorite place to find different affirmations tailored to whatever I need in my life at that time. You can also create your own!!
Praying- I became closer to God while on this journey. Whatever or whoever you believe in my suggestion is to dive deeper into it.
Yoga- Hot yoga is my all time favorite hobby it just helps me release all negative feels I just leave it on the mat.
Believe in yourself- Know that you deserve all the great things that are out there for you.
Trust- Trust that it is all going to work out.
Don’t rush the process- start small, no one can completely change over night- know that it takes work. Start by saying “Its going to work out” “ What is meant for me will not miss me” etc anything that you need- just keep it simple.
Partnership- Get someone that you trust and value on your team. Ask them to keep you in check and when you’re slipping they can help you back up.

Remember how amazing you are, don’t be hard on yourself and just keep living to change another day! BYE BYE NEGATIVITY!!

If you have any other helpful tips or want to share your journey feel free to comment below!

Fear? I'm Done With That!

September 06, 2019 by Milan Lafayette

A few months ago I was at Kroger with my family and someone recognized me from Instagram ( I was just as shocked as you are LOL!) I wish I had gotten her name but I was so far thrown off that I was not thinking clearly. Hi GF, I hope you are reading this cause you sparked something inside of me! This encounter made me think about a few things: I reach more people than I think I do, I am memorable, and I am definitely not using this platform to its advantage. I started this blog with dreams of it becoming something that helps me express myself and for it to become something that people can relate to. I have had this blog for so long (at least 2 years or more) but I have not been giving it my all because of FEAR y’all!!! I am definitely not the type to really care what people think but realistically we all care what people think. A few of my fears are that you all will judge the shit out of me LOL, that I will maybe say the wrong thing, expose too much and I fear that I won’t be liked. I KNOW its nuts but I be in my own head way too much. But then I have a chat with myself and receive all these messages from GOD as he has me scroll pass a post on Instagram that slaps me in the face and gives me a reality check. Today’s slap in the face comes from Tina @herlifesparkles the post said “Sis, you’re not a perfectionist, you’re a procrastinator. People with half your ability are making serious waves because they simply decided to go for it. “ If that doesn’t get you together idk what will! SO here I am going for it and writing this blog! I’m making a vow to take more chances, practice balance in my life and just go for it!!! What are your fears? How will you get past them?

29 Life Lessons To Guide You To THIRTY!!

November 06, 2018 by Milan Lafayette

Dedicated to my recent 30th birthday I thought of 29 lessons that I learned in my 20’s. I hope you enjoy them! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. Now it is time to start fresh in preparation of 30 life lessons to guide you to 40! #letthelearningbegin

You will lose friends no matter how long you’ve known them. And that’s totally OK!
You WILL make new friends!
It is good to change for the better.
Don’t live your life on other people’s terms.
You’re not a failure for not knowing exactly what it is you want to do.
Try new things to figure out #5
Don’t compare yourself to others. More than likely they aren’t showing you the real.
Be Real to yourself and others.
Laugh. Laugh hard. Laugh loud.
Back to #2 get a real, sturdy, and loving group of friends. Friends should keep you in check.
Value your family. Remember as you’re growing older they are too. They won’t always be here. Tell them you love them.
Respect your time
Respect other people’s time.
That guy you love right now may not be “the one” but dust yourself off and he may come God willing.
Trust God! (Or whoever or whatever it is you believe in) Follow him.
Believe in something worthwhile.
Volunteer.
Be the light. Someone is living in darkness and needs you.
Have an opinion.
Have passion about your life and the things in it.
Remember things are lovely but don’t matter. Load up on more memories not things.
BUT!! Treat yourself to a nice bag and pair of shoes.
Take care of your body. Eat well. Get well mentally!
Get well mentally!!
Save. Save. Save! Start now if you haven’t
It’s never going to be perfect. Just try your best.
Acknowledge when you’ve done wrong and fix it.
Speak your truth and live in it.
Cherish all the hard times and along with the good times. They have gotten you this far.
Your thirty’s are to build and perfect all 29 of these lessons. Have fun! 😘

F#@K CANCER!

September 10, 2018 by Milan Lafayette

Yesterday I cried. I cried for a woman that I only knew through social media but seemed so relatable. I cried for a light that touched so many lives. I cried for a fighter. When I learned of the passing of my style muse Kyrzayda, I cried. My heart is broken for so many reasons. I began to follow her for fashion inspiration but ended up learning much more from her over the years. When she announced her diagnoses, I found myself more emotionally attached to her posts. I personally know how cancer can change your life and the lives of those around you and that the fight isn’t an easy one.
Kyrzada’s passing brought me face to face with my own reality. One that I have been quietly coping with for the past year. As I watched her post her last few days, I was forced to live in my own truth. And that truth is that cancer fucking sucks. September 6th 2017 was the day my life was forever changed. That day I received a call from my mother and sister, they unfortunately had to tell me that my Mom had been diagnosed with STAGE FOUR CANCER! I remember instantly falling to the floor in tears. When you hear those words you automatically think DEATH and I instantly thought I was going to lose my mother! The thought was crippling and brought me to my knees.
From the time I got the call, my life quickly became a whirlwind. I began to take trips home more frequently than ever to visit my mom and help her prepare for a surgery that we prayed would save her life. Fortunately the surgery was scheduled to take place shortly after learning diagnoses, so we would not have the fear that waiting often brings. In the midst of the stress and anxiety of coping with my mom, I found out I was pregnant- a miracle but also stressful on its own. Imagine wanting to celebrate the excitement of bringing a new life into the world but also constantly worried about the future of a loved one.
With the passing of Kyrzayda I am reminded that this could have been my mom, this story could have a different ending. I have lived and witnessed all of the feelings and changes of cancer that Kyrzayda so bravely shared with us. My heart hurts for her. My heart hurts for my mom. My heart hurts for cancer patients and their families everywhere who have or are enduring the pain and turmoil cancer causes. My mood is truly fuck cancer at this point. Cancer has made me and my family suffer BUT cancer made us strengthen our trust in God...but still F it. I’ve spent a year not openly discussing my mother and her diagnosis just cause talking about it makes it real and brings up all these unwanted emotions. Here we are almost year since her surgery and her being cancer free and talking about it openly is hard. After I cried for the inspiration and blessing that was Kyrzayda, I decided it is time I share my truth no matter how difficult it may be.
Kyrzayda left us with one last live video on instagram and in that video she demands with passion “Whatever you want to do in life do it now! Don’t wait until the next hour or tomorrow…no go do it now.”
Her words touched me and inspired me in ways I can’t describe. I promise myself that today is day one of a lifetime of changes and risk taking. I’m going to do what makes me happy and I’m not going to wait to do it. Thank you Kyrzayda for inspiring me not only with fashion, but for inspiring my soul. You inspired me to take a risk and write my truth and start my blog...FINALLY! Thank you for reminding me not to take life or the ones you love for granted. I’m blessed that my mom is alive and strong and I’m going to take full advantage making memories with her and LOVE up on her. Rest well Kyrzayda you fought, inspired and your legacy lives on.